


Of Secret Smiles and Insomniacs

by Verocity



Category: Dong Bang Shin Ki
Genre: Gen, one shots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-17
Updated: 2011-03-17
Packaged: 2017-10-17 01:40:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/171594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Verocity/pseuds/Verocity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>YunHo comes home with a huge smile on his face and refuses to tell the story behind it. ChangMin-centric, DBSK brotherly love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Secret Smiles and Insomniacs

**Author's Note:**

> Please read and review :D

"Well. Someone just got laid."

JaeJoong’s casual comment draws three pairs of eyes to him, then to the person he’s looking at. ChangMin decides that JaeJoong’s observation has merit when he considers YunHo’s smile is bringing him perilously close to breaking his face.

YunHo shakes his head and goes straight to their room. JaeJoong and YooChun immediately leap from the couch to corner him. JunSu snorts and continues playing his game with unbroken concentration and ChangMin doesn’t trade his comfortable reading position on the couch for a personal interrogation with YunHo, especially since he could hear everything the three would talk about despite the walls and distance. An advantage of living with loud-mouths. Not that it mattered much.

"Well?" came JaeJoong’s muffled voice.

"Well, what?" YunHo answers, amused, exasperated, pretending innocence, and fooling no one.

"Well who’s the girl?" YooChun asks quickly, not interested in playing games. "How attractive is she, where did you meet, does she have any equally if not more attractive friends, and how did you convince her to keep her mouth shut? And answer the last question first."

"They’re wasting their time," JunSu says to no one in particular. A high-pitched squeal from the speakers almost drowns him out.

"I have no idea what you’re talking about," YunHo insists, clearly knowing exactly what JaeJoong and YooChun really want and clearly hiding whatever it is he knows or just did. It only serves to tease YooChun and forces JaeJoong to think of other means to break YunHo’s wall of silence. And JaeJoong’s bribes can be pretty creative.

"JaeJoong-hyung’s success rate isn’t something to laugh at," ChangMin says offhandedly. He highlights a passage he could build on for a song. "He’s gotten YunHo-hyung to spill before. Lots of times." ChangMin wonders how far JunSu’s willing to continue the conversation while focusing on his game; his choice will reveal which is more important.

The sound of three guys wrestling could easily be mistaken for some other bedroom activity, what with all the grunting and panting and ruffling of sheets. ChangMin would have been aroused if he didn’t know any better. Also, JaeJoong and YooChun would give up soon: neither of them stood a chance against YunHo.

JunSu shakes his head, his eyes not leaving the screen. "Not this time. ‘Cause hyung didn’t sleep with anybody."

ChangMin peers at JunSu from above his book. True, JunSu knew YunHo the longest, but ChangMin never thought he could match (or even outperform) JaeJoong’s sensitivity to subtle body cues. "He certainly seems to."

JunSu says no more. ChangMin is left to wonder if JaeJoong’s paranoid insecurity or JunSu’s hidden depths will prevail this time around.

* * *

Dinnertime arrives with JaeJoong’s multitude of not-so-subtle hints on what he could do for YunHo, prominent among them the promise of indulging any dietary requests. This is long-considered to be a treat among the members; a point JaeJoong drives home by preparing YunHo’s favorite bulgogi and sausage congee. But YunHo isn’t biting. ChangMin can’t decide if he’s simply waiting for a better offer.

Not that YunHo eats dinner with them. He mostly just lounges around in the kitchen while the other three have their fill.

YooChun plays a passive game of subtle cues and congratulations, building YunHo’s confidence, waiting until the dam breaks and he’s ready to tell all. YunHo simply smiles mysteriously and retreats inwards whenever YooChun mentions it. They could play at this for weeks, ChangMin knows; the only reason JaeJoong seems to have more success is because his methods work quicker. But where JaeJoong is direct, YooChun is patient, and between them they could make YunHo reveal everything.

In theory.

ChangMin watches like an observer at a poker game and eats his dinner silently. He misses the smile on YunHo’s face, the smile that makes him deeply regret he didn’t have his camera the instant YunHo walked through the door. He thinks of the things that could make YunHo smile like that... but his list is short and unconvincing. He is surprised to come up with so few things even when he turns the question on himself, and it makes YunHo’s mystery more intriguing. Something unpleasant awakens in ChangMin’s chest – something he is ashamed of feeling.

He thinks of JunSu’s many possible reasons for not sitting with them during dinner. The highest on his list is also the simplest: JaeJoong’s bulgogi smells divine and JunSu doesn’t want to break his diet.

ChangMin questions the confidence he has about understanding JunSu.

* * *

A week passes.

JaeJoong gives up and settles the score by disappearing for a night. He returns the morning after without a word of explanation and parades newly bathed and topless around the apartment with kiss marks on every inch of his torso. They’d be hidden well enough by the day’s costumes, but if a couple or so show on camera then all the happier JaeJoong will be with the intrigue and affirmation of his beauty.

None of the members ask him about it. JaeJoong was just being JaeJoong.

His surrender increases YooChun’s anticipation: if YunHo is so determined to hide something, then it must certainly be exciting news, and all the more reason for him to find out. He could wait indefinitely. He was good at that. His cues grow less subtle to keep the story fresh in YunHo’s mind, who, in turn, doesn’t seem to think much of it at all.

JunSu just rolls his eyes at them. ChangMin falls into the intrigue, not for the sake of hearing YunHo’s story – well, that too – but mostly to know if JunSu is right all along.

* * *

The other members often complain that ChangMin thinks too loudly. He has no idea what they mean but he listens to them anyway. That’s why he takes a different seat in the van when they ready to depart for the airport: he doesn’t want YunHo to hear him thinking, but he wants JunSu to hear every thought.

He doesn’t say a thing, and JunSu doesn’t ask.

He catches YunHo’s inquiring look as he boards the van, and he answers with a blank stare as JunSu acknowledges with a clueless shrug. YunHo gives him his ‘whatever makes you happy’ smile and thinks it’s fair to take ChangMin’s usual seat instead. ChangMin doesn’t mind.

JaeJoong and YooChun come aboard and slide the door shut. They joke that ChangMin is plotting to overthrow YunHo’s reign and YunHo says something insincere about evil magnae in SM’s groups. JunSu squeals his insistence that he’s the real magnae, and ChangMin agrees since he certainly acts several years younger than his age. The van is filled with laughter and playful teasing.

But it doesn’t last. YooChun soon falls asleep (his face goes serene as he looks out the window) and YunHo follows (his eyes and mouth are closed for now but later they’ll slowly open up). JaeJoong readies his camera to capture the moment but falls asleep too. ChangMin breaks his temporary reverie to take pictures of JaeJoong instead.

The gates of ChangMin’s mind open in the silence and he is flooded with disjointed questions and vainglorious answers. His head is heavy with them; he rests on JunSu’s shoulder, who doesn't mind as long as his gaming is uninterrupted. They don’t banter like they usually do.

They arrive at the airport and their manager wakes the other three up, and only then does ChangMin realize he’d been staring at the back of YunHo’s head.

JunSu gives him a puzzled look, an unspoken question, as they exit the van. ChangMin feels sure that JunSu knows who he’d been looking at and they both don’t get why. Knowing that even JunSu doesn’t understand everything about him comforts ChangMin to a degree. The new creature in his chest stirs slightly, reminding him that it’s still there.

* * *

Ironically, ChangMin feels more at home in Tokyo than in Seoul. They were vulnerable in Korea: easily split into individual schedules and private social groups and the whims and fancies of being in a familiar culture. Tokyo, even after all this time, was unfamiliar enough that they don’t fragment as easily as they do in Seoul. Even YooChun actively seeks their company despite reminding everyone of his loner status.

They’re equally busy there as in Seoul, but at least they’re mostly busy together and they mostly arrive home together.

* * *

It was a chilly night in Tokyo when ChangMin sees a miracle.

Tired from the flight ( _when will they ever get used to it?_ ChangMin thinks) and well-aware of their early schedule the day after, Dong Bang Shin Ki received explicit orders to go to sleep immediately after dinner. YooChun doesn’t quarrel with the idea and goes to sleep without bathing. JaeJoong pretends to be affronted but doesn’t really complain since YooChun’s body odor isn’t particularly offensive despite his lack of hygiene.

ChangMin and JunSu spend a few minutes talking about bubble baths and body oils, and maybe they could convince their coordinator to let JunSu try a sexier look. ChangMin wonders if he should have a go at it as well, but that means letting the world know that he has more hair than everyone else and it’s just not something he wants to make public. He’s about to ask JunSu if being too hairy can turn their fans away but JunSu’s already entered his contortionist mode and fallen asleep. ChangMin closes his eyes and enters sleep.

Tries to, at least, but finds that he can’t.

People who spend their time thinking can’t will themselves to stop.

* * *

There is always someone ChangMin can call on during restless nights, and this person conveniently has his own room. The faint light streaming in through the windows was enough to navigate with.  
He lay beside his hyung, who isn't even pretending to be asleep. ChangMin feels YunHo's arm drape across his waist.

"Bad dreams?" YunHo asks gently.

"Ask me after I fall asleep."

"We sleep well together." It was a mark of their exclusive brotherhood that they completely ignore the double entendre. "Maybe we dream the same things."

ChangMin gasps. "Yah! You pervert!"

YunHo snorts and he fights down his laughter. "Then we definitely don't dream the same things."

ChangMin gasps again. "Yah! You prude!"

More of YunHo's laughter escapes this time and he buries them in ChangMin's neck. The intimacy wasn't lost on them, but it was the safe kind. The comforting kind.

"Tell me a story?" YunHo says as his laughter dies down.

"What story do you want?" ChangMin asks the routine question.

"Whatever you want to tell," was the routine answer, the one that tells ChangMin that YunHo recognizes his need to be greater than his.

It was an inversion of roles, ChangMin knows that well enough. This wasn't about the hyung entertaining the dongsaeng or the other way around; this was about YunHo helping ChangMin sleep by letting him vent so his mind can slow down. ChangMin doesn't know how YunHo sleeps after everything he hears, but there has never been a complaint.

"Hmmm." ChangMin frowns in the dark. To be honest, this is an opportunity. "There's this story I've been thinking of for a while. See, there’s this boy who lived with his friends-"

YunHo interrupts. "No 'once upon a time'?"

ChangMin sighs. "It's not a fairy tale, hyung. Anyway, there's this boy who lives with his friends. One day the boy comes home with a secret that everybody wants to know."

YunHo stifles another laugh with ChangMin's neck. "Let me guess: the boy is extremely handsome."

"Actually, the boy's _friends_ are all very gorgeous and very pretty and very perfect, and the boy is jealous of their perfection. Oh, and the boy can't sing but he dances okay." ChangMin feels YunHo pinch his waist playfully. "Anyway. The boy comes home with a mystery and his friends are all intrigued. They offer him food and favors but he wouldn't tell them a thing."

"Why do his friends want to know?"

"Because they're concerned. They shouldn't have any secrets."

YunHo presses his forehead against the back of ChangMin's head. "But don't they respect the boy's privacy?"

ChangMin thinks about this. "Well. They do. That's why they didn't tie him to his bed and tickled him until his confessed. But if the boy tells them he doesn't want to talk about it, his friends wouldn't mind. But he just keeps quiet so the others keep wondering. It's a mark of their love that they want to know this secret."

"Ah."

"So one day the boy and his friends go to a foreign land for their job-"

"Wait the boys are working? I thought they were kids."

"They're responsible kids who work. Anyway, in the foreign land one of the boy's friends decides that he can't stand the intrigue anymore. Because he knows the boy very well, he begins to hide all the boy's underwear one by one, and because the boy is kinda big he can't borrow anyone else's."

YunHo hums. "Is the mischievous friend tall?"

"No, but he's very pale and smells like chili. Also, he's a girl wearing boy's clothes and the rest of the group hasn't caught on."

"Oh. That explains a lot."

"Anyway, we'll never finish this story if you keep interrupting. The friend hides all of the boy's underwear and-"

The door opens. Before the two can react, a new weight unceremoniously throws itself beside ChangMin and fills the room with wheezy breathing.

"Yah, Junsu-hyung-"

YunHo presses a finger to ChangMin's lip. "Shh."

"But-" _I was here first_ , ChangMin doesn't get to finish.

"Let's sleep. Continue the story tomorrow?" YunHo asks using his politely authoritative voice.

JunSu stirs. "You're too noisy..."

ChangMin pouts. YunHo whispers in his ear, "There’s still tomorrow, ChangMinnie."

* * *

ChangMin has long since convinced his hyungs, through words and actions, that age and maturity are completely separate things. He grew up as the eldest in his family and he will forever act that way. He always carries himself with confidence and maturity, never once backing down from the challenges of their industry if only to prove to everyone that he was who he was, and he was _not_ a child anymore. His success gave him pride.

But when YunHo described him as "our ageless one," ChangMin learned that his pride was nothing more than vainglory. YunHo was the leader for a reason and ChangMin bowed to him. True, there was resentment at first, then awkwardness, but soon there grew admiration: YunHo became his hyung in more than just age.

ChangMin has a great mind. The world is blessed to know this.

YunHo's mind is equally great but with a far greater pool of experience. The world doesn’t know, and in that the world is missing out.

* * *

Nothing special happens during the rest of their stay in Tokyo: their schedule is packed full as expected and sheer exhaustion helped ChangMin fall asleep at nights with no trouble at all. JaeJoong doesn't actually hide YunHo's underwear and YooChun seems to have forgotten his mission in lieu of JunSu declaring him as his wife during a gag show. He writes a song about misguided love and considers filling JunSu's parts with bass notes, but concedes that YunHo will probably be assigned to sing them anyway.

Their return to Korea is equally bland. JunSu goes home to catch up on lost times with JunHo and Xiah-ki while YooChun consults RyeoWook about using the classical structure for a jazz composition. JaeJoong immediately goes out for a drink with HyunJoong and invites YunHo along, but the latter declines with claims of needing sleep.

ChangMin feels mildly put down for being left alone again and wonders if MinHo's available to hear him bitch about being excluded.

But he doesn't have to. YunHo invites him out for dinner.

* * *

They've gotten used to hiding who they are.

ChangMin follows YunHo's lead and wore no make-up at all and puts on baggy clothes and large sunglasses despite the time of day. They ride a cab and YunHo asks to be dropped three blocks away from the training studios, which ChangMin finds odd until they stop at the familiar side streets that never crossed his mind after debut but frequented daily back when he was still a trainee.

The last time ChangMin visited these streets was to eat at cheap restaurants when he was unsure of his future in the entertainment industry. They were places he never thought to see again - the fond memories were too few and outweighed by echoes of frequent hunger.

Still, he didn’t expect their stroll through the district to be so emotionally virulent. The district is lined with generic eateries and stuffy stores selling secondhand clothes beneath underdeveloped apartments. They were the antithesis of every performance: the stage makes him feel that Dong Bang Shin Ki is his destiny; the streets remind him how easily he could have missed it and instead remain as one among thousands of dreamers who came here not for reminiscences but because they could afford nothing else.

YunHo doesn’t share his apprehension. But then again, YunHo never shares his apprehension. Not to him.

It results in ChangMin’s persistent blind spot that YunHo can do anything; it’s illogical, and he knows it’s illogical, but he believes it – believes in his hyung – nonetheless.

At any other moment, ChangMin would have drowned himself for thinking such thoughts about anyone.

* * *

Dinner is a bowl of noodles in black bean paste and small scoop of kimchi, with some pickled radishes on the side. ChangMin reflects that the food is remarkable in its unremarkability: passable but cheap, and completely reminiscent of meals eaten during training days – meals that had nothing to do with gusto and everything to do with not going hungry and gathering energy.

Perhaps the fact that they _are_ having dinner at a cheap eatery has a lot to do with it. ChangMin doesn’t exactly know why: there were better restaurants a few streets down, or at the very least YunHo could have ordered some other item off the menu.

But it certainly helped that there were barely any other customers, and the few who came in minded their own business and didn’t seem to recognize two dressed-down pop stars in their midst.

"Hyung," ChangMin says pointedly.

YunHo smiles brightly at him from behind his shades. "Smells great, doesn’t it?" His voice is filled with sincere enthusiasm.

"Hyung…" Changmin says again with increasing despair.

"What’s wrong? You’ve eaten _jajangmyeon_ hundreds of times before."

ChangMin speaks in a softer voice. "I thought one of the perks of being famous is to never have to eat cheap noodles ever again."

YunHo chews on a mouthful of noodles. "Whatever gave you that idea?"

Sighing in defeat, Changmin warily mixes his noodles and regrets his decision to not call MinHo. Or maybe he could _still_ call MinHo to save him from this mess.

"Aren’t you having fun with your hyung?"

ChangMin looks up and gets an eyeful of a pouting Yunho. "This isn’t exactly what I consider fun. Even by your standards."

The pout vanishes to be replaced with a cute smirk. "I think you’re underestimating this fine establishment."

ChangMin looks around. Bright florescent lighting with no artistic tinting whatsoever. Whitewashed walls with a faint layer of grime. Rickety wooden tables with faded formica surfaces. Chairs with lumpy cushions. Chipped ceramic bowls and plates that perhaps had designs on them a long, long time ago. Greasy faux-marble floor tiles that smelled of cheap disinfectant. "No, I think I’m estimating it just right."

YunHo laughs and just continues eating. ChangMin acknowledges his defeat and sulks throughout dinner.

If he’d just paid more attention to YunHo, he’d have seen the return of The Smile.

* * *

The ride back to the apartment is spent in silence mostly because ChangMin still isn’t done sulking. He felt cheated out of a fun night and a good meal, and though he’s trying very hard not to put the blame on YunHo he really couldn’t think of any other reason why the night wasn’t utilized as well as he wished. Damn charismatic hyungs and their stupid whims.

ChangMin reaches the apartment door first with thoughts of raiding the fridge for _anything_ even remotely tasty or failing that have some real food delivered from a real restaurant just around the corner.

Before he can open the door, though, YunHo hugs him from behind.

"Hyung," ChangMin says when YunHo wouldn’t let go.

"Thanks for coming with me."

ChangMin’s sour mood evaporates on the spot. It’s amazing what miracles YunHo’s sincerity can do.

"I had fun tonight, ChangMin-ah. I promise we’ll go somewhere you like next time." YunHo hugs tighter for an instant then steps back and enters the apartment first, leaving ChangMin to linger by the doorway a moment longer.

The creature in his chest is silent but finally ChangMin identifies it. It is not love.

* * *

Five beds in the same room. Five dreamers sharing sleep. Five hearts keeping secrets.

Rooming together was the best way to maximize bed space – particularly for YunHo and JunSu, who often stretch across beds during sleep. In theory, it was also supposed to foster closer ties between the members. And it worked. If you look at them as a group.

Communication forms relationships, but privacy strengthens them. In this home, Dong Bang Shin Ki has no privacy among each other. The irony is not lost on ChangMin.

* * *

The only place wherein ChangMin can find privacy is his shared workroom. JunSu doesn’t mind.

The stuffed bear that lives in their workroom serves not really to ‘guard’ it from intruders, as they told the other three, but to guard ChangMin from JunSu. It was a compromise between JunSu’s sudden bouts of musical inspiration or gaming needs and ChangMin’s sullen moods. Putting the bear between their desks was ChangMin’s way of asking not to be bothered. JunSu is free to use the bear, too, but he doesn’t usually mind being bothered.

JunSu, for his part, is well aware that ChangMin is younger than him even if the taller boy thinks and acts older. He often wonders how much of ChangMin’s maturity is actually compensation for JunSu’s weakness at being the older brother, but he doesn’t dwell on it much. These are dangerous grounds.

"ChangMin-ah."

The lump on their workroom’s floor stirs. JunSu nudges him with his toe. "Get up from there. The floor’s cold."

ChangMin curls up even tighter. "Hyung, the bear is in place."

JunSu takes a moment to think of a response. "It’s not between us right now. Get up or you’ll catch a cold."

"Hyung. Leave me alone."

"Ah, you’re so stubborn." JunSu takes the bear from the desk and drops it on ChangMin’s belly, then sits down beside his head. "Is this about YunHo?"

ChangMin doesn’t bother asking how JunSu knows. He turns to face the wall and cuddles the bear.

"I’ll call YunHo if you don’t talk to me."

"I don’t understand how he can be so happy!" The thought is far from complete despite the finality in ChangMin’s tone. JunSu wiles the silence away by cleaning his nails with folded paper. "We had cheap jajangmyeon for dinner at a cheap restaurant and YunHo-hyung acts like it’s a damned buffet. Like he can’t get enough of it!"

"YunHo ate dinner?" JunSu asks, puzzled and completely missing the point.

"That’s another thing! He doesn’t have dinner with us but he’s more than happy to hop across town for a meal that JaeJoong-hyung can make a better version of in his sleep. If he just doesn’t want to eat with us, why doesn’t he tell us outright after all these years instead of pretending to be on a diet and-"

JunSu interrupts. "But he ate with you."

"… What does that have to do with my rant?"

"Pea-brain," JunSu snaps, but it’s all fondness. "He ate with you. It’s not that he doesn’t want to eat with us, and it’s definitely not the food itself."

ChangMin wiggles closer to JunSu and lays his head on his hyung’s lap. "Go on."

JunSu leans his head back on the wall. "When we were still training, before the three of you came in, YunHo was very lonely. I mean, he hung around with people and all and some of the hyungs looked after for him, but I never saw anyone he could call a deep friend. Part of it’s because of his inferiority complex: he felt too fat, his teeth were crooked, his hair wouldn’t stay put… and his provincial accent made him an easy target. YunHo kept his distance."

"But you were friends with him." ChangMin grins. "What was your inferiority?" Junsu punches him lightly on the shoulder.

"I wasn’t the only one. A lot of us liked YunHo because he was genuinely a nice guy. But we learned that YunHo was also too busy to spend time with friends. He didn’t tell you about his part-time jobs, did he?"

ChangMin shook his head. Come to think of it, he never bothered to ask.

"Well, he was _very_ busy. He had to look for jobs to pay for housing and training fees, and that was alongside school. But I never heard YunHo complain. He just kept disappearing after training to go to this and that job, or to seize an opportunity for even a small profit. If you look at it, YunHo had it tougher than any of us. I had HyukJae, and I had a family to go home to every night. You had JaeJoong and YooChun and KiBum. YunHo had his job and HeeChul." JunSu presses a hand against ChangMin’s forehead.

"Ouch." ChangMin looks back and couldn’t trace any memory of YunHo being embittered. "And hyung just bore it all?"

JunSu pulls out his phone and shows a picture to ChangMin: an old one of a tall boy wearing a busboy’s apron serving food in a very familiar eatery. "I followed him secretly one day. Back before I knew he was working so hard. I just wanted to see where he kept disappearing to, you know? For about a year, every lunch break he would run to this restaurant and help serve food and clean tables in exchange for a bowl of _jajangmyeon_. I guess he and the owners had an agreement.

"I wanted to help a bit. Maybe invite him for a home-cooked meal or something, yeah? But you know him: so full of pride, and I was afraid he’d turn me down and I’ll just be embarrassed, so I befriended him and waited for him to ask for help…"

"But he never did?" ChangMin finishes. Typical YunHo.

"He never did," JunSu confirms. "But I guess he eventually caught a break or something because he suddenly had more time for his friends, and he didn’t work during lunch breaks as much as he used to. I guess he found a good job somewhere. He was a bit better off when you guys came in so you never saw him with his difficulties."

ChangMin sits up beside JunSu. "Is that why you know him so well?" he asks, almost breathless for finally understanding a piece of the walking puzzle they call their leader.

"You could say that. When we debuted, I thought it’s finally over, we finally had it made. But then YunHo took his role as leader very seriously and we weren’t exactly ideal band mates, and he had to cover for us a lot of times. Do you know how hard it is to make sure all the members have an equal share in the limelight?" JunSu laughs and ChangMin suppresses a twinge of guilt for complaining about not having enough exposure. "YunHo worries about that a lot – he thinks it’s his responsibility. So I knew his difficulties weren’t over yet and he’d never complain, so I promised myself that YunHo wouldn’t _have_ to complain."

ChangMin waves the phone in front of JunSu’s face. "We ate here!"

"Really?" JunSu doesn’t need to look at the picture again; he practically has every detail memorized. It’s been that long. "Heh, you’re the first person he brought there."

ChangMin notes the subtle note in JunSu’s tone. "Don’t be jealous, hyung, the food wasn’t that great."

JunSu barks out a laugh. "At least he finally opened up to someone. It must be nice for him find such simple moments when we’re all going crazy."

More pieces of the puzzle fit in and ChangMin makes more sense of the world. "You love him. Don’t you?"

JunSu considers that one. "Well… not especially. We all love YunHo."

ChangMin tastes the statement in his mind and finds it true. "Yeah. But not _that_ way."

"Yeah, not in that way. And he loves all of us. But not in that way." JunSu’s gaze turns from sentimental to piercing. It was a rare look on him. "Unless…?"

ChangMin’s smile is uncertain. "I’m pretty sure I’m not. But I almost thought I was. I was seriously ready to drown myself in the bathtub just to escape the awkwardness. But hyung… you know me really well, right?"

JunSu smothers the tendrils of pride that came with being sincerely addressed as ‘hyung’. "I try."

"Then, hyung… what do I feel for YunHo-hyung?"

JunSu’s laughter breaks their moment. "ChangMin-ah! Don’t use me to affirm what you’ve already figured out, you bastard!"

ChangMin blushes in embarrassment. "Do you know how easy it would be for me to smother you to death with this bear?" he threatens and almost means it. This causes JunSu to laugh louder and ChangMin makes good with his words. They end up wrestling around the room, which summons JaeJoong from the other workroom to break them apart with threats of force-feeding them nothing but chili for the rest of the week.

* * *

It’s the day after. ChangMin offers to take care of dinner and asks JunSu and YunHo to at least sit with them during the meal. YunHo agrees (he always does, anyway) and so does JunSu after a bit of pretend resistance. JaeJoong sets the table to commemorate the event and YooChun crows at ChangMin’s sudden gallant splurging.

The cheap _jajangmyeon_ arrives. YooChun’s chagrin ("Couldn’t you at least have ordered from somewhere more prestigious?") and Jaejoong’s indignation ("Really, ChangMin, if you just wanted noodles I’m more than willing to make them.") are ignored over JunSu’s hilarity and YunHo’s complete surprise.

ChangMin serves the food. YunHo Smiles at him and joins them for a bowl and JunSu decides that eating dinner just this once won’t be so bad. Even JaeJoong’s very vocal resentment that the two would rather eat cheap _jajangmyeon_ instead of his cooking doesn’t dampen the mood.

* * *

"Hyung," ChangMin whispers as he sneaks into YunHo’s bed in the middle of the night. Lights out was a couple of hours ago, but that doesn’t mean they’ve already fallen asleep.

YunHo makes space for him. "We really should find a cure for your insomnia."

"And what about yours?" He lies down and YunHo hugs him from behind.

"I’ll get by." YunHo listens carefully for any sign that they were disturbing the others: YooChun continues snoring and JaeJoong grinds his teeth in his sleep. JunSu’s silhouette suggests a twisted pose that he would in no way sustain had he been awake.

"Tell me a story?" YunHo asks after several moments of silence.

"What story do you want?"

"Whatever you want to tell."

"Hmm." ChangMin frowns in the darkness. "Okay. Once upon a time-"

"Ooh, a fairy tale?"

"I guess you could say that. Once upon a time, there was this boy who-"

"Is this the same boy who lived with his friends?"

"This is before he lived with his friends. A prequel. Anyway, there was this boy who was reaching for his dreams but he didn’t have a lot of money. So he went to a… a kingdom known for making people’s dreams come true. His dream was expensive so he began working several jobs at once-"

YunHo sighs against the back of ChangMin’s neck. "I think I’ve heard this story before."

"Oh? It’s pretty good. Don’t you want me to finish it?"

"How about we shift to the story to one of his friends. The tall one."

"Ah, the tall, smart, handsome, perfect one? Who has a lot of talents and is generally considered the greatest of the whole group?"

"I think you forgot ‘imaginative, arrogant, and very delusional’."

"Ah, but those are his best traits! Okay, we fast forward to when the boy comes home with a mystery. The tall friend can’t stop thinking about the mystery but he doesn’t know why."

"Does he know now? Why he can’t stop thinking about it, I mean."

ChangMin gives his will-you-just-shut-it sigh. "Hyung, if you keep interrupting we’ll never get anywhere. Anyway, the friend keeps thinking about it but he can’t understand why. So he goes to the _magnae_ who surprisingly knows a lot about all of them-"

They realize that they’re not as alone as they thought when they hear a squeaky chuckle from JunSu’s bed. ChangMin ignores him.

"-and the short, chubby magnae who unfortunately has the IQ of a squid-"

"Hey!"

"-helps him realize that he’s delighted for the boy because the boy found happiness-"

"Not bad for a squid, don’t you think?"

"Shut up, JunSu-yah! This is my story. Anyway, the squid- I mean the _tall friend_ also realizes that he’s somewhat jealous of the boy-"

This time, it’s YunHo who interrupts. "Jealous?"

ChangMin rolls over to glare daggers at him. "Clearly, we’re not getting anywhere with this story."

"Sorry. Please continue your tale, our tall, smart, handsome, and perfect one."

"That’s better. Anyway, the tall friend realizes he’s also jealous of the boy _because_ the boy found a happiness that’s so personal. And the boy has become such a strong person, and he uses that strength to look out for his friends. The tall one is jealous because he thinks he’s so mature but compared to the boy he’s really not that much, and he really has been delusional all this time."

"It took him this long to realize that?" JunSu comments from his bed.

"Shut up, squid."

YunHo shushes them. "Is the friend still jealous?"

ChangMin pauses. "A bit. Though not that much, anymore. He’s slowly maturing for real this time."

"Ah. That’s good." YunHo kisses the back of ChangMin’s neck. "The boy doesn’t want anything but love in their group."

"We’re slowly getting there," JunSu chimes in.

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"Yah, YooChun!" JaeJoong’s voice suddenly speaks in the darkness.

"What?" YooChun answers a bit groggily and ChangMin realizes that his snoring stopped several minutes ago.

"Fuckin’ tell me a story."

"About what."

"About these idiots who keep talking in the middle of the night despite having to wake up at the crack of dawn for a really busy schedule-"

"That story speaks for itself," YooChun answers and turns in his bed.

"-and they have two TV guestings, a photo shoot, and a radio show without any break time-"

"Yeah, yeah, we get it, shut up!" ChangMin yells from his bed and YunHo hugs him tighter, snorting uncontrollably. JunSu squeezes in with them despite ChangMin’s claims of not having enough space and that, really, JunSu’s ass is so fat he needs an entire bedroom of his own. JaeJoong comes over and lays across all three of them to varying degrees of protestations while YooChun lays face down on his bed and covers his ears with his pillow, muttering loudly about stupid management who can’t even spare the budget for individual rooms.

* * *

It’s a week later and YunHo comes home with a familiar smile on his face. It inspires a similar smile on JunSu though JaeJoong and YooChun ignore him completely. ChangMin sighs fondly and says, "Things would be much simpler if you just got laid."

YunHo holds up the box he brought home. " _Jajangmyeon_ , anyone?"

ChangMin takes it upon himself to set the table when no one else moves. "Stupid hyung," he mutters, but it’s all fondness.


End file.
